To say we have, I have, been changed by our experience abroad is an understatement.
At face value, I may not appear changed. I still love Chicago; I still love going home; I'm still tremendously proud that my career started in Cincinnati; I still hold my head high and say I'm an American; I still love my trashy reality tv shows; I still love a good night out; I still don't know how to iron or clean {much to Ross's dismay}; I'm still very much a teeny bopper at heart; I still wish Britney + JT made it work and that Selena + Beebs would reunite. Bottom line: I still act the same way. I'm still me.
But I think I'm a better me because of this journey abroad {it's taken me a long time to recognize + admit that}. For starters, I eat meat now. And I now know how read a map {I even own one now!}.
All jokes aside, I think I'm a better me because while I don't act differently, for once, I'm very proud to be me. I've had the chance to really practice some self-love-- had the chance to really look at myself, as is, and accept who I am {I could write a whole post about that in itself...}.
Growing up in a 93% white suburb {which I loved, and I wouldn't take it back despite what I'm going to say}, I've tried all my life to "fit in" and maybe strive to be something I'm not. Not because I was embarrassed, but because it's easier to be the same as everyone else as a child.
BUT, after living in London, where everyone looks different and "white" isn't the norm, I've had to learn to be comfortable in my own skin and recognize that no, I'm not white. I'm American, yes. But I'm also Filipino, and that looks different than the 93% of people I grew up with. And that's ok, because I'm pretty darn happy I am different {thanks mom!}.
That's not to say it's been an easy process, but I won't bore you with all the sappy details. Let's focus on today.
Today, I'm proud to say I'm American. I'm even more proud to say I'm Filipino-American. I no longer want to fit into the norm of being "white", I want to show off being Filipino-- honor my Filipino heritage.
And to be honest, without getting too political, I don't think I would've been able to come to this realization had we stayed in America, a country where it's the majority way or the highway, a country that doesn't want to recognize differences {in fact, as of right now, is even persecuting those for being different, but my rant on that can be saved for another day + another platform...}. And that's not meant to criticize my home but more to just open a dialogue. While Americans have such great pride and unity compared to England, it comes at the price of forsaking your background {or so I've felt} to succumb to the majority.
So why am I on my soap-box about this? Because Ross and I found a Filipino restaurant that reminded me home, of being Filipino, of my grandma's cooking, and of my mom's comforting meals and care. Josephine's, located actually right by my school, reminded me that I need to learn more about my culture, traditions, and cuisine. Josephine's reminded me to be more vested in myself and to be more proud of my background. For me. For my family. To teach Ross. To teach our future little Filipinos {who will also be a thousand other ethnicities but hey, they'll be damn.proud to be Asian ;)}.
And so to bring it back full circle, friends {if you're still with me}, THAT'S why I'm a better me. I'm a better me because I want to learn now. I want to know how to make pancit, biko, cassava, halo halo {no, not pronounced like the angel halo}, garlic fried rice {Oh my goodness! That rice though-- mixes with everything from eggs to mangos to spaghetti and mashed potatoes! Don't knock it till you try it!}, adobo-- just to name a few. I want to learn Tagalog. I want to fly the Filipino flag high, along with the American flag {can I combine them somehow?!}. I just want to show off that I'm proud-- proud to be me :).